Founder: Stefanie
Stefanie Prose
I am Stef, proud Mommy to 4 incredible kids. I have 3 boys and 1 girl that give me a run for my money and then turn around and make me grin ear to ear.
I am happily married to Tommy. He should definitely be given an award when it comes to dealing with my PMDD. We have, of course, had our tough times, confusion and arguments, but when it comes down to it he is very supportive and understanding about it.
LOL, I won’t say he’s perfect :) I would sure be in some trouble if he was!
I am a daughter, sister and friend too. Somewhere in between all of it, I am just Stef, sometimes lost in all of it, but loving every minute of it.
In addition to all of these WONDERFUL labels, I am also a PMDD survivor I guess you could say. I don’t say that as a joke either. I don’t take my PMDD lightly. I know you are thinking, PMDD can’t kill you. No, not in a sense of how you are thinking, not like cancer or a heart attack, but emotionally and physically it will take you down month in and month out and the truth is, sometimes you don’t know if you can or want to deal with it.
This is not to say that you want to end things, but as you continue reading about PMDD and learning more about the struggles of living with PMDD, you will come to understand why you or those you love suffering from PMDD sometimes want to throw their hands in the air and just scream.
Whether you are reading my story on PMDD for yourself, or for a loved one, I hope it helps even just a bit. Please, if you have any questions or comments, feel free to ask or share.
Once more people understand PMDD, maybe Women will begin to have some sort of relief, maybe doctors will find better ways for us to be able to cope and live happy and healthy lives all of the weeks of the month.
My incredible family, the people that have to live with my PMDD the most. Other than for my own health and well-being, my family is the main reason I want to keep my PMDD under control. I want my children to grow up happy and healthy, not having an angry, emotional wreck Mommy and I want for my husband to have an emotionally stable and happy wife to grow old beside.
Owner of www.stefanieprose.com, PMDD Advocate, Writer, Blogger, Speaker, Networker
Hey Stef,
I’ve just realized about 5 months ago that I have PMDD. The mood swings have been escalating, and I suffer extreme insomnia for 2 weeks. Once my period starts, I am exhausted. I had been on cipramil for a few years, to help with insomnia, but it barely took the edge off. I have just weaned myself painfully off efexor which I was on for 4 months, to no avail. Some one told me about Yaz, and said they feel fantastic on it, but I have read bad reviews on the net. So currently am on nothing, and not sure where to go from here. I am considering staying drug-free for awhile. But we’ll see what happens. It’s unfortunate that there is nothing that works consistently for everyone. Anyway, glad I found your site.
Cheers, Lisa
Reply
admin Reply:
November 21st, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Uggg… yes, I know the insomnia oh too well.
I have heard the good and the bad on Yaz too, it’s just not something I am willing to try right now.
My prozac and Topamax takes my edge and rage away, but nothing works for the migraines or that inside feeling- you know the one, you just know it’s there.
If I can offer a tidbit of advice, LOL, though it wasn’t asked for :)
If you are going to go drug free for a while, make sure you are taking your vitamins, exercising (at least walking daily) and watch what you eat as much as possible.
It will help a little bit.
Reply
Hi Stef,
This is the first website that I have found that details what my mood swings are like. As I have gotten older, the anger attacks come sporatically, usually with a migraine to follow. The overwhelming feeling of anger and rage is horrifying. I am drug free, but have tried Serafim in the fast, which helped with the attitude, but intensified the physical pain. I exercise and eat fairly well, but are there any specific foods to avoid? Or specific foods to go for? What kind of vitamins?
Thank you for your website! It’s good to know that I am not crazy and that other people are going through the same thing, unfortunately.
Reply
admin Reply:
December 8th, 2008 at 10:31 pm
Hi Gina,
I don’t know why this slipped by me, I apologize for taking so long to reply.
I used Sarafem, but went to Prozac, cheaper and the same thing w/a less fancy name, LOL
Most definitely there are foods to avoid. Caffeine is a major one, for some reason women with PMDD are affected by caffeine extremely badly. Stay away from it.
Stay away from red meat during your 1-2 wk time, whichever it is you have.
Stay away from processed foods, fast food. Make meals yourself rather than eating out or eating from the frozen foods section.
LOL, of course I don’t mean you have to make everything from scratch, but stay away from the pre-made frozen pizzas and such.
Watch your salt intake and your carb intake, of course you will crave both.
Eat healthy especially during your 1-2 wk time.
If you need a piece of chocolate, just definitely do it in moderation. :)
Reply
Hey Stef,
I’m sixteen and found out I had PMDD when I was fifteen. My menstrual cycle has been a wreck since I was about thirteen though. It’s really hard to live with this since NONE of my friends understand what I’m going through. It’s so hard to keep my grades up too. My mom and family support me and help me so much thankfully. It’s so amazing that you have this website so I can see that there are other people who feel the exact same way I do. I’ve always felt like no one understood the way I felt about my PMDD until now. I’m doing so much better though because of YAZ! I also take Paxil and Klonopin to help also. I’m also going to do a better job of eating healthier and exercising to help me feel even better.
Reply
admin Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 8:39 pm
Well CRAP!!!
I wrote out this long reply and hit something and it’s gone. So, here it goes again!
Like you I had PMDD since I was that young, I’m 35 now. I know you are probably thinking, there is no way I can go that long! The good news is you are getting help now, you have people pushing for PMDD info to get out to the world, and your family has info to look at so they can understand and support you.
Grades, relationships, all of it, I wish I had a magic answer, but I remember it all to clear. Hang in there and never feel like you can’t complain or scream about 16 yr old stuff here. This is a safe place to do that, and most of us remember our PMDD in those years, we do understand.
I do have a couple of questions though for you about your meds and if you aren’t comfortable going into more detail here, please email me privately at livingwpmdd@gmail.com . First, you may be one of the few that Yaz works tremendously for with regards to PMDD, a lot of us it just doesn’t, but I do know some it’s great! Now, question: Did they ever try you on just the Yaz without the Paxil and Klonopin? Without them weaning you from the others and trying the Yaz alone, you don’t ever really know what is working and what isn’t. It’s easy to add to, if necessary, but why add more if one works. Know what I mean? Did something happen? Have you been diagnosed with something other than PMDD?
Also, was there a reason Paxil was chosen over Prozac (Sarafem) or Zoloft? Those are the only 2 that are actually FOR PMDD, paxil is prescribed by doctors and they say for PMDD, but it’s not in the books for PMDD. Also, it is the worst of the worst to come off of. I’m not trying to scare you. I have personally been on Paxil and I did my research via online to taper off, and I took it 3x as slow as prescribed and I was still sick as a dog.
After doing more research I found that this is the common thing for Paxil. Again, I am just trying to find out why Paxil was chosen IF you just have PMDD and were you ever taken off of it once the Yaz was started.
Next, the Klonopin (mood stabilizer) is not the norm for PMDD either. Did something more happen to cause them to start you on a mood stabilizer, especially at such a young age? Again, email me privately if you wish.
If you have read thru the site you know that I am definitely not against meds, I personally have to take them too. Tried without and it just doesn’t work for me, my PMDD is just debilitating and with the meds I can control it better. I am just trying to find out as much as I can so that I can help you early on so you won’t have to go thru as much (and as long) as a lot of us have. That’s why I have this site. :)
I take Prozac (30mg) and Topamax (50mg) : topamax is a mood stabilizer and I just started that within the past couple of years. I take the mood stabilizer because after working with a psychiatrist and doctor together to find out if anything else was going on with my PMDD, we found that I most likely have Cyclomythia (very fast ups and downs) in addition to my PMDD, just a different sort of way, and outside of my PMDD. Even with this, I will be tapering myself off of both meds once I go in for my next more permanent solution to my PMDD so that I can see exactly what is going on.
I hope I am not confusing you or scaring you with any of this. Feel free to sit down with your family and your doctor. Remember: I am not a doctor, I have lived with PMDD since the beginning of my cycles. I have gone thru just about everything possible regading PMDD, including doctor insaneness too.
I would love to talk with you more about how you are doing.
Thanks for posting!
Stef
lifewpmdd.com (Blog)
lifewpmdd.ning.com (Forum)
livingwpmdd@gmail.com (Email)
Reply
J Reply:
May 22nd, 2009 at 2:34 pm
Just wanted to clarify that Paxil CR is FDA approved for treating PMDD.
Reply
admin Reply:
May 22nd, 2009 at 6:02 pm
My apologies, I didn’t realize CR had been added. Regardless, I wouldn’t ever recommend Paxil CR being used for PMDD. The struggles of Paxil CR and what they do to the body and trying to taper off, etc… are so extreme compared to other meds.
There is a ton of info out there if you do a general search of Paxil CR withdraw or taper, any wording along those lines, it’s insane what you have to go thru.
So many people have found out the hard way and I mean months to get off of it.
I am one of those people and only speak about my experiences with it, but again do the search, it’s not pretty.
I was diagnosed with PMDD a few months ago but I know now it is something I have dealt with for years. It seems to have gotten worse as I have aged and had children.
I think the hardest thing is feeling crazy. Two weeks I’m good and the next two weeks I feel completely insane. It’s hard to make decisions and trust my feelings, depending on when you ask me you’d get really different answers.
I am currently on Prozac and it does seem to make the rage better. I am still getting very depressed and I now have a ton of problems with swollen and sore breast. This is very painful, but easier to take than the rage. However, the Prozac has drained my sex drive. I am constantly tired but can not sleep. Before Prozac, I exercised regularly but now I have a hard time. I am just so tired. I am hoping this will go away in time. Anyone else have this problem? What about not sleeping?
It is all just so hard sometimes. I am not exactly sure where the “real me” is in all this. I try to say, “OK, I know what I am dealing with and I can recognize it and deal with it when it comes.” But, before I know it, I am in the middle of it waking up the next day only to feel completely different. Aloof, depressed, angry, irritated, raging, medicated, honestly sometimes it’s just too much. Any advice for learning how to trust yourself again?
Reply
admin Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 8:59 pm
Hi Kat,
I have had PMDD since the beginning of my cycles, my PMS was always crazy compared to my girlfriends. Now, I do know that a lot of Women don’t notice their PMDD kick in until after having kids, so yes for you that could definitely be true.
I do know that even though my PMDD has been bad from the get-go, as I am getting older, it’s getting more difficult to keep under control, even with my meds. My meds have always allowed me to keep it under wraps.
My kids are getting older and I think they are starting to be able to tell that they can get different answers at different times, like if I’m just too worn out. I am really having to keep notes if you will and sometimes truthfully, I have to do it in my binder. Keeping notes in my head during this time is like not taking notes at all. I have decided that being honest and writing it down if I tell them they are grounded from something, going to my binder if I have said yes or no about doing things, etc… I just look it up in my binder. Sometimes they giggle and I tell them Mom has so much to remember that something has to leak out, LOL.
I take Prozac too, but I don’t exercise less because of it. I exercise less because of the exhaustion of my 2 wk time. Sometimes all I can manage is sitting in the sun in the front yard, I have lightened up on myself some and allow myself to count that as my ‘exercise’ of the day, regardless.
I don’t sleep worth a darn! I can always tell right when my 2 wk time is starting, that is the first MAJOR change. As soon as I lay down, my brain just starts jamming with ideas, things going crazy, my body longs for sleep and there is NO way my brain is shutting down.
I do take store bought sleep-aid during this time, not every night, but every 2-3 nights or so, so that I can get some sleep. I have to be able to get up and get kids ready for school. I also don’t take them on w/e’s.
We all go thru the ‘real me’ part of PMDD. I go thru it both ways. I wonder what the real me is once I do free myself of PMDD (whenever that will be), who am I without PMDD. I also can’t stand the ME I feel like in my head during the 2 wk time.
I literally just sometimes put my head in my hands and just sit in quiet. Not answering the phone, it’s too much to have to do. Not talking, just staring at nothing, noone.
I believe that trusting yourself is easiest when you have your PMDD under some sort of control. When you aren’t losing it at other people then you aren’t having to worry so much about once you are out of your 2 wk time, no extra messes to clean up if you will. If you feel like you are always losing it and that you are breaking relationships, etc… then trusting will be difficult.
Hang in there!
Stef
http://www.lifewpmdd.com (Blog)
http://www.lifewpmdd.ning.com (Forum)
livingwpmdd@gmail.com (Email)
Reply
I just recently heard about PMDD. For the last 5 years I have had severe anxiety, rage, panic attacks, sadness, loss of interest. I have in the past seen Doctor’s for the anxiety and depression, only to be handed prescription after prescription of antidepressants that did not help only made matters worse. I have lost friends, jobs, etc. I have always had PMS however 5 years ago when I had the ESSURE procedure & stopped taking the pill, because I decided I didn’t want anymore kids, that’s when it hit me hard I started freaking out on everything. I can’t drive but very little and relationships well–I do OK until 5-7 days before I start my cycle, then I get really moody, impatient, mean and I take everything out on my boyfriend, and my family. I just want to isolate and not be around anyone. At least I know now I am not crazy! I am wondering even if I had the Essure procedure if it is possible to take YAZ or something at my age of 42 years old?
Reply
admin Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
Michelle,
You are in the same boat as most of us, we have been given prescription after prescription, and it gets beyond annoying.
I don’t know what ESSURE has to do with making or helping PMDD worse or better, that is something that I would have to do more research on.
I just wanted to touch base with you so that you knew I was looking into stuff for you.
I’ll post again soon with more info.
hang in there!
Stef
http://www.lifewpmdd.com (Blog)
http://www.lifewpmdd.ning.com (Forum)
livingwpmdd@gmail.com (Email)
Reply
HI
Im 29 years old, and am waiting to have a full hys. I have lived with the hell that is PMDD for 10 years, constantly being told it was depression, anxiety, bla bla bal… After having my two adorable boys it went nuts. I pushed and pushed and researched to find th etop doctor in Scotland, and I went to see her. I could have hugged her when she told me I could have the op – but my family and friends think I am mad – why would i go through that operation for something like ‘pms’. I have explained till I am blue in the face how bad life is sometimes but they just don’t get it. Anyway I do not know anyone else who has gone through this op as young as me so any help advice would be greatly appreciated
Donna x
Reply
admin Reply:
June 1st, 2009 at 3:35 am
Hi Donna,
You could check out http://www.hystersisters.com if you are looking for someone your age, but the way I look at it is, you know what you want and what your body needs. I’m 35, have 4 kids and to be perfectly honest with you, my family is not ready for this. My husband is completely supportive and for it, he lives with me going thru pain and PMDD monthly so he gets it.
I haven’t even written about this yet, but I only mentioned it to my Mom once when I first saw this new doc and she said, “wow, that is really serious, that’s a surgery, etc…
I just let her talk. I know what I need- I am the one that physically, mentally and emotionally lives thru this nightmare every single month and I’m not going to allow myself or my family to go any longer living it. I have done this for so many years, I know what I need and I sure know what my body needs.
My family may or may not become more supportive once I tell them that I made the final decision and set a date, but that’s okay. Again, I know what I need and I stand behind my decision a thousand percent. If I couldn’t stand behind my decision this strongly I don’t think I could go thru something so serious and permanent.
I would ask you this: Have you exhausted all other treatments? Are you finished having children? Is your husband supportive of this decision? Are you prepared to go thru what might come from the surgery?
PMDD is just a bitch in my opinion to try and explain to people, or should I say, to get people to truly understand. They can sympathize with you, but unless they truly live with it, understanding you having surgery, they just may not be able to do.
Hang in there and good luck!
Stef
Reply
Super blog! I am {loving|enjoying} it!! We will come back again :) – {taking|getting} your feed also, Thanks.
Reply
Hi,
I’ve had PMDD for years – MUCH worsened since the birth of my 2 girls. It’s gotten so bad my husband and I have lost our relationship over it. We live together but we are no longer together in an emotional sense. I have recently seen an endocrinologist who has suggested Yaz. I haven’t taken BC for over 20 years but I am so enraged for most of the month I feel there is no other option. I’ve tried Zoloft etc and didn’t like SSRIs. I am scared of myself and what angry me might do.
So tonight is my second night of Yaz. I am praying it saves us all as I can’t cope with being a mad crazy woman for most of the month.
I will let you know how I go….
Jo
Reply
I want to first say that I am soooo glad to have found this website. I have been on a yahoo pmdd group website for a few years now and just haven’t seemed to connect with the moderator or other members. All of the stories here I can relate to and your support is exactly what we are all looking for – and your own story hits home.
I am 37 years old and was only diagnosed with PMDD about 5 years ago. HOWEVER, I have been going to doctors since I was 15 saying “I don’t have a little bit of PMS, I have SEVERE PMS”. And of course back then it was completely written off and I was put on every single birth control pill available at the time (which made me even more crazy). I finally took myself off the pill in my early 20’s – but still suffering the awful effects of this terrible condition. I’m sure you can all relate how all of this affected friendships, relationships and especially with family members. The scary thing is when my mom and I now look back on it she definitely had it as well (we used to call her Jekyll and Hyde). So at 28 I got pregnant with my first son and it was like I was free. It was euphoric to feel so good and it lasted until I stopped nursing until it reared it’s ugly head again. I then had a few miscarriages and couldn’t get pregnant so we started fertility treatments but I couldn’t even do IVF because I didn’t produce enough eggs and of quality. With only four eggs not of quality they sent us home and told us to try but the chances were slim and I got pregnant with triplet boys who are now 5. Once again I had bliss for almost 2 years. I remember walking down the stairs one day and thinking to myself that I couldn’t imagine going back to the way I used to feel. I felt like such a great mom and person. And then it hit again. But finally a nurse practitioner gave me a sheet on PMDD when I told her my symptoms and it all made sense. In some ways it was a relief to finally put a name to this. So since then I have done EVERYTHING (I have learned that you must be your own advocate!). I have researched, went to every doctor imaginable (even Columbia University where they couldn’t tell me much more), psychiatrists, psychologists, tried every med imaginable (way too many side effects) supplements, etc. I now do acupuncture but money and time is a huge issue (oh and I had a surprise pregnancy – a girl! – 2 years ago). I have my Masters in Exercise Physiology and am very proactive with eating well and exercising however, during my bad weeks I want to hide from everyone and just sit in my bed (which I used to beat myself up about because I thought I was lazy – well I still do). I scream at my children and it is truly starting to affect them. We also have issues in that my husband has ADD and problems with alcohol. So between my problems, his problems, money problems and what I am doing to our kids I sometimes feel like I am going to break. Almost 25 years of this madness has taken it’s toll on me mentally and physically. So it sounds like this will be a great place for me to get support and information. I’m sorry to be writing a book here but I just needed to get it all out.
Jules
Reply
Leave your response!
Stef , PMDD Advocate
Categories
Archives
Let’s Stay In Touch:
Twibes Groups-PMDD Women's Only Forum Men's Only Forum
Positive Period Protection, Save Money & the Environment
Helpful & Encouraging Readings:
Oprah's Book Club: Not a "PMDD" book, but about harnessing the Power of Now, not the past. This book will still help you.
PMDD Facts Sites
*PMDD-Community.com
*National Association for Premenstrual Syndrome
*WebMD
Most Commented
@StefProse Conversations