my sister is killing me
My sister is killing me. She and two of my nieces have driven three hours for a surprise visit. We have all gathered in my son Jacob’s bedroom. I am leaning in the doorway beside my husband while my sister and her daughters tell me stories about life at their house. My sister Brandi sits on Jacob’s bed facing me with Leighton stretched out, close by. Jacob and Addison build with blocks on the floor. Brandi replays scenes from home that make me smile and then laugh. I am trying not to laugh because it hurts. A lot. Stop, I plead. I can’t take it. But something wakes in me that I’ve been missing. It’s the kind of missing you do without realizing it.
I see that having surgery and a 3+ inch incision have made me notice two things: 1) I haven’t laughed in a very long time and 2) My sister always, always makes me laugh. I start to think about the people I spend my time with, frequently or infrequently, and then I think about how little I laugh. This is not to say my friends and coworkers are mean or that I am unhappy. Sometimes my husband makes me laugh. Sometimes my son makes me laugh. Sometimes we make each other laugh. But it is my sister and my brother who make me laugh the most. Following that, it is my son and my sister’s children, separately or together. I see that most of the people who make me laugh the hardest live one hundred and eighty miles away.
In the evening Brandi, Jacob, Addison, and I gather on my bed to play Crazy Eights while Leighton instant messages at the foot of the bed. Jacob and Addi begin to exhibit signs of a day of too much sugar and soon they are making me laugh so much I am in real pain. My incision says STOP but my heart says Please, please. It’s been so long. You can take it, I tell myself. And I do.
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Filed Under: PMDD
Tags: Addison, Brother, Coworkers, Crazy Eights, Doorway, Friends, Heart, Inch Incision, Instant Messages, Laugh, Leighton, Long Time, Nieces, People, Replays, Signs, Sister Brandi, Sister Brother, Smile, Son Jacob, Surprise Visit
Comments (1)
admin
June 2nd, 2009 at 8:19 pm
When I hear my children laugh that contagious laugh it makes me think back to the days when I could laugh that way.
When the stresses of life weren’t so over whelming. When my body worked with me rather than against me all the weeks of the month.
When I cried because there was something to cry about, not because ‘I just don’t know why’.
I smile because their laugh is beautiful and I long to have that laugh that they have.
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