Treating others badly during PMDD
Sometimes we really just can’t help but treating others poorly during the ‘2 wk time’.
We really want to bite our tongue, but the harsh reality is that we usually roar like lions at the slightest disagreement.
I feel as though I am looking down on myself, like an out of body experience. Sounds crazy I know, but it’s like I am trying to stop myself from raging, but I just physically can’t.
I have learned that the best way to deal is when you feel that feeling coming on, don’t try and fight it, go take a bath, take a walk or just go into a room alone and do some relaxing breathing. Give yourself a little break, you will be glad you did.
This will also help you in the stress area because you won’t have to feel so guilty that you treated others badly, esp your friends and family.
Also, it makes a huge difference if your friends, family, spouse, partner or anyone else in your life that is important will read up on PMDD. This will help them to understand why it seems like you have some sort of split personality at times.
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Hi,
I am just coming out of a really bad week, I believe my partner has PMDD.
I have mentioned it to her but each time the reaction is the same, she does not want to talk about. Her behaviour during the week leading up to her period can vary from month to month. Sometimes she is “hot and cold”, sometimes she is just extremely angry. How do Ireason with her? when is the best time to discuss PMDD?
Help!
Reply
Hi Joe,
Dealing with a partner that has PMDD AND won’t admit to it must be incredibly difficult. Most definitely the best time to discuss PMDD is once your partner has started her period and is feeling better. For some, myself included, a day or two after starting is best because I am so worn down from the PMDD time before starting. You will have to judge for yourself.
Also, is her PMDD time 1 or 2 wks each month? No matter what, do it when she is not in that time frame or be prepared for an outburst of tears or rage.
Sometimes people want to discuss behaviors, outbursts, angry times that occurred during the PMDD time during the good times. I don’t recommend this, it doesn’t do any good. We are hard enough on ourselves, trust me.
Maybe rather than discussing the behaviors that took place during the time leading up, you can ask how she feels during that time leading up.
A few helpful tips…
!. Do you feel a lot more exhausted/worn down during the time leading up to your period? Is there anything I can do to help during that time, maybe help with dinner, cleaning, etc…
2. Are you phsically sore during the time leading up to your period? Maybe each night a warm bath without me (or anyone else) around would help you not feel so achy.
**PMDD causes monthly migraines, neck aches, back aches, it’s just really physcially annyoning and debilitating at times.
3. Are you having more headaches during the time before your period (having to take Tylenol more often), sensitive to noise, lights, sounds? (These cause you to become more annoyed with those around you.
You get what I am saying. If you can get her to respond to these then she might start realizing that yeah, each month something is going on. These physical type questions are less defensive, I believe.
Personally, I was glad to know that it wasn’t me just going crazy in my mind, it really was something, regardless of what that ’something’ was/is. She may get to that point if you take this sort of route.
Good luck and please keep in touch on how it goes.
Of course, send her to this site to know she isn’t alone and this really is something that you have to face to be able to learn to live with.
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Stef , PMDD Advocate
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