Intervention & PMDD
I don’t know how many of you watch the show, Intervention, but I am a weekly watcher. It comes on every Monday night, so last night I was watching it and I started thinking.
First, I should explain what the show is for anyone that doesn’t watch it. Families and friends decide that a member of the family needs an intervention. Whether the member has an eating disorder, drinking problem, drug problem, whatever it may be and an interventionist is by their side.
The individual thinks he/she is doing a documentary and it shows their life, with them talking about it, living with it, and then at the end when they think they are going to their final show, it’s an intervention with everyone.
Now, last night there was an intervention on a Mom that had an eating disorder, different than most types and for this post it doesn’t matter all the details. What had me thinking was that she had 2 little girls. (under 8)
When the husband spoke he said, “I can’t and won’t have our little girls growing up like this. You are showing them unhealthy ways of living. You can’t be nice to them, etc…” (She wasn’t nice to the girls, didn’t spend time with them, was more annoyed by them.)
That’s the part that got me thinking and wondering about PMDD. Even though it has the word disorder in it, because of the cycles it causes you to have, all the ups and downs every month, it’s almost like it carries traits like an addiction.
Anyone that isn’t working hard on taking control of their PMDD, rather than it over you, needs to start now. If your kids are facing difficult times with you, then they are living the PMDD with you, and if it were any other ‘addiction’ that they were having to deal with, with you, an intervention would be necessary.
So, this is my PMDD intervention to you! If any of you are struggling with what to do to make healthier changes, control your rage, be a better Wife, Mom, or just person, I am intervening on you.
I want to help you feel better about yourself which will allow you to be the better person all around.
What are your struggles?
Are you still raging? Do you know why?
Are you having a hard time staying motivated to eat right and exercise?
You tell me, I’m here to help. :)
Hi – I have a question about this condition: If you have a fit of rage on someone and it was due to this condition, do you later feel the need to apologize to the person on whom you freaked out? The reason I ask is because it has happened to me several times (I think) and getting her to apologize is a monumental task. Thanks.
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Very good question.
I am ‘assuming’ she hasn’t acknowledged that she could have PMDD, so she is still in the stage of, If I freaked out on you, you deserved it type stage.
If this is correct then getting her to apologize will be difficult, she won’t feel as if she was in the wrong. Also, from your end, I’m guessing if you have to ask for an apology it doesn’t mean much.
I can also tell you that if she does feel as though she has PMDD and she has apologized a lot in the past, it’s almost embarrassing apologizing again because you know the same sorry said over and over again without any changes in the actions, means nothing to the other person.
However, if I understood you correctly, it is difficult to get her to apologize period.
I did just go to my husband and ask him because my PMDD has been under control a lot more than it was years ago so it’s difficult for me to remember some things from before. He did say that before when I was going thru some raging I never did apologize where as now I do.
He said it seemed as though I was always trying to tell him that I felt as though I shouldn’t have to apologize, he should just know I didn’t mean it, it was the disorder.
Either way, I should have apologized, but now you know that may be it is a trait of the disorder.
It would help me a bit more if I knew if she acknowledged having PMDD or if it was something you were just researching in search for an answer.
Hope this helps.
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I was doing some research for PMDD and came across your site. I think it’s great, and they way your name is spelled is the only way to go!! I’m 33 and think I have PMDD. I started taking Yaz just over a week ago and hope it helps. I also suffer from depression, but was able to go about five years without anti-depressants. I still feel depressed, and it’s been harder to treat since PMDD. A person can develop PMDD after a period of time can’t they? I mean we aren’t born with it right? For a couple of weeks every month I am raging, then when my period is almost over I feel a lot better.
As to a response to the question about feeling the need to apologize for my behavior, I do. I apologize and sometimes I will be upfront and tell the person I’m raging at that I’m about to start my period so I’m suffering from major PMS. I’ve come to a point where I pretty much stay away from people when I’m like that. I don’t call my friends, and I don ‘t send emails because I’m overly emotional in every way – it’s like every emotion is intensified. I feel bad for my kids, and my husband, but I can’t help it. Sometimes I tell my kids that there is a problem with my chemicals and I’m very irritable because of that, not because of them. How do you deal with family during the “rage”?
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admin Reply:
January 9th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
LOL, you are the first Stefanie I have ever come across with the exact spelling. If you don’t mind me asking, where are you from? I only ask because I had someone tell me when they saw my spelling that it was more of a ‘foreign’ way to spell it. :) Whatever that means…born and raised in Texas, LOL!
Anyway, I am super glad you found my site. You are just a couple years younger than me. Yes, it can come on, nope not born with it, of course noone knows why. Like you I am very careful about phone calls and emails during my 2 wk time because of my sensitivity. Especially emails when they can come across a gazillion different ways.
I hope that your friends are as understanding as mine have been.
For the kiddos and the husband, mine see me working on my book and answering a lot of comments/emails regarding PMDD and ask what it is. I explain about as much as you do, mine don’t understand much more than that. I do tell them, you know that time when Mommy doesn’t talk alot, my tummy hurts more and I get alot of headaches. Noises make me insane so I just try to keep them a bit quieter or head outside. The trampoline for them is a God send. I can watch them from my back door while they have a blast with their friends.
They know those times. My raging is more under control because of my meds. That is one thing that I don’t have to explain much anymore, thank goodness. Mine were younger when my raging was the worst.
When I do feel like everything is too much I have learned to tell my husband I need a ‘break’ and I usually go and soak in the bath. He keeps all the kids away from our room so I can have Me time. I turn music on and literally just veg out, I also try to allow myself to just break down and cry in the bath. Sometimes a great cry can just wash it out.
I hope that helps. Oh, yes definitely I have the feeling of something is wrong. Today actually is the day that I feel it ‘coming on’ that time. THe headache sneaking up on me, having to move my neck around more and all of a sudden feeling that overwhelming feeling that life is just too difficult. Like my heart is heavy I guess.
It sucks, but hang in there and know that this site is definitely a place to come. You can also email me at any time at livingwpmdd@gmail.com if you need to talk more privately.
I also just finished a book about living with PMDD that you can get here and it’s great for you and for your spouse and friends if they are trying to understand. It’s written in a light enough way that even spouses won’t be bored. :)
Stef
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One more thing – I feel like there is something wrong with me – does anyone else feel that way. I mean feeling like this isn’t normal and I guess that’s why they call in a disorder – I hate it. I feel like a crazy person sometimes because of the moodiness.
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Hi, I’m sure I have PMDD and am serious about living a better life! Thank You for being there for all of us!
1. Struggles: Biggest one is the paralyzing anxiety (what I call it)… example: today, I just paced around and waited for the babies (2 and 4) to beckon and I was ready to respond… if I’m busy with anything else (I mean anything) I’m not able to respond like I should. And they can tell when I’m having a bad day, and tend to be real creative about making huge messes… this morning, Anna told me she was going to do “woman washing” while I was checking my email… next thing I know she has a baking dish filled with soapy water and lots of water all over the foyer. Then I was on the phone while I had the two babies making thankyou cards with magic markers… of course I’m watching them while I talk, but Luke had marker all over his face, hands and arms.
2. Prozac handles the rage…. if I don’t have that during my bad time, I’m a raving lunatic for about a week.
3. Motivated to eat right and exercie: Desperate for some help here… called my OB-GYN for a referral to a therapist working with PMDD women and they said to call a psychiatrist and make an appointment.
Need help!!
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I’m feeling the same way you are in not really knowing what to do first. It takes so long to get into a psychiatrist that I did some research about different treatments then called my OB whom I’ve discussed PMDD with previously and asked them to prescribe YAZ and Zoloft. I’ve taken Zoloft in the past and it does seem to help me with the rage and irritability. This is a bad week for me and realized I need to be taking it again. I’ve been in a rage and everything seems to irritate me, especially the in-laws! LOL I would suggest being as pro-active as you can with your physician and call a psychiatrist if you have to to make an appointment. I think I’m going to because I hate feeling like this, and no one wants to be around me when I am. Good luck!!
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Not knowing what to do first is part of that “paralyzing anxiety” I was talking about…. I feel like I can’t think! Without trying to, I zone out to calm down, even though I’m not having a panic attack or anything… I did get my hands on some Xanax and am hoping this will help when I have those days.
Good luck to You! and all of us!
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Funny thought… is this what it feels like to be a man?…
My husband tells me over and over “Men don’t multi-task) when I assume he can watch the kids and do anything else….
just a little funny :)
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I think I’m gonna start calling my bad days “my man phase”… hehehehe
Wouldn’t it be much more convenient just to prop my feet up and not care if the house is a wreck and if I just ordered pizza when we got hungry… let the phone ring without answering… and let the mess just pile up!!
hehehehehehehe….
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Sorry, this was an intervention thread. And here, I’m making fun of myself…. I really don’t want to sit around in my underwear and throw the kids up in the air all day….
When I was initially diagnosed with PMDD, after my fifth baby and at age 45, I did go the psychiatrist/therapist route for over a year, but neither of these resources would acknowledge or help me deal with PMDD. So, I wasn’t even sure that PMDD was the problem. The psychiatrist put me on Invega, Prozac and Trazadone for a long time… I felt like a zombie ALL THE TIME… but every month I would still fall into this awful pit of darkness. And the therapist, well she couldn’t figure me out and thought I was just lazy when I would complain about not being able to do the things I want to do (like be responsible and have routines). Well, I took myself off of all that medicine not long ago and afterwards had my yearly exam where my OB/GYN told me that there’s nothing wrong with me, just my hormones.
Instead of all that medicine, I’m much better just having a real bad week of fuzzyheadedness and insomnia… Prozac is working for the rest of the stuff and I still take trazadone when I can’t sleep.
Unless I get a recommendation of a psychiatrist or therapist that treats PMDD here in my area, I’m just gonna keep on getting refills and try to find a doctor that will prescribe Xanax.
Feel free to move/delete or whatever with my rambling….
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Also, I do need help with the practical aspects of this disorder…
like, when I have my good weeks I’d like some practical advice about how better to prepare for my bad weeks… and how to prioritize the ebb and flow more efficiently… and what outside help my benefit my family most…
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Hey Sandra,
I am going to try and reply to everything in this one post. :) I have hit my 2 wk time and my sinuses are killing me. My brain is in 2 wk foggy and I am very medicine sensitive so the allergy meds are making it double time worse. Uggg…
If I miss anything I will come back to it, LOL.
Actually your ramblings sound a bit like myself before I got things more under control.
I am having a kiddo emergency, nothing too major, but stopping and starting me from typing… I will type tonight
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Thanks. Good luck with your evening…
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Worried about you Stef… I’m wishing you a speedy recovery….
BIG HUG!!
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Thanks Sandra,
Nothing major, just one of those weeks when everything hits, LOL. I just really long for my summer sunshine on top of that. It’s been a yucky 2 wk time this go round with some stressful stuff, but manageable. I just of course let it get to me during this time.
I started to write my reply to you again today, but I just couldn’t get the right words out I wanted. Will try again tomm.
All this winter weather just exhausts me!
Thanks for the words of encouragement, I appreciate it.
Stef
Stef’s last blog post..Looking to do interviews
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This is my second month acknowledging and trying to control life with PMDD. Today at day 24, I realize by looking at the above mentioned comment how not okay I was and didn’t really know it…. real sensitive, got my feelings hurt badly very easily.
The referenced comment was written on day 14 and there were many more problems than I noticed then.
Body aches and fatique played much more of a role than I realized… then the insomnia really set in and made fatigue and body aches worse.
Thanks for being here for me… not giving up this time. Came up with some good ideas today to cope…. like gonna buy a bunch of extra groceries today (mostly dups of things on my list for today – we eat strictly vegan on Wednesdays and Fridays). And like Stef says work harder when I’m able….
Also, I’m a morning person and tend to be brain dead at night even during my good two weeks, so I’m going to acknowledge and try to be more responsible every night too.
A big challenge, but I’m not giving up this time, thanks to you all!
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Sandra Reply:
January 21st, 2009 at 4:20 pm
One more thought… my conclusion is that I had worked so hard on my good days last month that I was tired and achy because I had worked so hard… instead of because of my hormones and just didn’t realize the difference when my bad two weeks started…. the first day, I did notice I was extremely tired and noted on my calender that I rested that day. Thanks for playing….
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I am very happy to have found this site. I also want to thank you for taking the time to support people like me. I am 33 years old and have been feeling very angry, testy my kids like to tell me. I seem to snap at my kids and husband over the dumbest things. It almost seems like if they sneeze the wrong way I yell at them. I have not yet been diagnosed with the disorder yet, but have most of the symptoms of the disorder. The symptoms begin about 1 to 11/2 weeks before my period starts and end or at least lessen a great deal about 2-3 days after my period starts. I have been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder but am not being treated for it. I am trying to handle it without the help of medication, but it only seems to be getting worse. Especially around my time of the month. My question is, who do I go to for treatment of this disorder and diagnosis of it? Any help or advise you can give would be greatly appreciated as I feel if I don’t get help for this I will lose my family. I’m already pushing my husband out the door and I’m afraid if I don’t get help He will finally go out the door and not look back. Not to mention that I don’t want my children to think it is ok to act in that manner when they get older. Two of my daughters are in their teenage years and I don’t want to push them any further away then what normally happens as they become older. Again, thank you…
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admin Reply:
February 27th, 2009 at 8:26 pm
Hi Lynn,
I apologize for the late reply, things have been crazy around here. I will try to reply to each part of your post.
First, a huge thank you! If it weren’t for readers and commenters like yourself this site wouldn’t be any good either. I am thankful that I can turn my living with PMDD into something positive, in a sense. I deal with and have dealt with so much in regards to my PMDD as a teen, young adult, Woman, Woman and married Woman and Mommy that I believe I really can make a difference sharing my stories.
Second, I don’t believe you have to be ‘diagnosed’ with PMDD anyway. Unfortunately, 1/2 the time docs miss the mark anyway. That being said, I don’t mean we should all self-diagnose, but with PMDD the only tests they can run is the same thing you can do yourself. Keep a calendar and be honest with yourself. It should be a repetitive calendar of events for at least 3 months, of course paying attn to any outside sources or events that could be throwing you off your course as well. Also, from my blog you know the symptoms, they go from the same charts, that’s where I got mine. :)
Third, having the general anxiety disorder: Is this something you have outside of your PMDD time or just during? If it’s outside of your PMDD time that is of course another thing all together. Also, if it is outside of it, the PMDD is going to throw it into overdrive during your PMDD time, regardless. Where you may be able to control it better during your regular days, you may need to really watch during your 2 wk time because you have prob found it to be GAD on steroids at times. This may be the reason you feel it is getting worse. I would need more info from u on that.
I have said before, there is not a special doctor that deals with PMDD, sadly enough. In my ebook #1 I discuss that when I have moved and had to leave my favorite doctor, I began making phone calls rather than appointments. I called and asked to talk to the nurse or have the nurse call me back. They would call back from my msg or the doc would. I would ask how much they deal with PMDD and see from the phone if they are comfortable prescribing meds, IF you are thinking you may need them. Things like this before I make an appt. I have seen Gynecologist and I have seen Family Doctors.
Yes you want to get more control over your PMDD. You don’t want your kids to stop coming to you because they are afraid you might be in one of your moods. Also, I don’t care how strong of a husband you have (mine is pretty darn great too), but at some point they have to protective of their lives too.
Questions I have for you. Are you exercising? I don’t mean you have to be hitting the gym, but do you at least get outside and walk? Do you eat crappy food or do you eat pretty good? Are you staying away from processed and junk food during your 2 wk time. Stay away from red meat during your 2 wk time, along with alcohol and if you can caffeine during your 2 wk time. Are you able to get any sunshine, I know right now depending on where you live it may be hard, but it can help so much, when the sun is out, get out there. :)
Do you take any vitamins? Drink lots of water?
Any additional info would be great.
Stef
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I totally agree with you. I am always feeling like “What the H–l is wrong with me. and it can’t be fixed. Then I came across this website and now feel as there is HOPE.
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admin Reply:
February 27th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
I’m so glad to hear this!
You guys always know that you can email me or post and if you have an emergency just put emergency PMDD in the subject and I will get back to you anytime. If you need a phone call, even long distance, give me your number, I will do that too.
I’m really and truly here to help!
Stef
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I have been living with PMDD probably a lot longer than I even know – but in the last 6 years or so is when I became aware of what it was and that I had it. “It” is so crazy! I really hate that my family has to deal with me. I have two awesome children and a wonderful husband and then there is me – the bitchy one who is always mad or angry. Ugh! Of course I’m not ALWAYS like that, but basically two weeks out of every month.
My question is can hormone therapy work? Anyone have info on that?
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admin Reply:
March 13th, 2009 at 8:44 pm
Mary,
I am doing more research on this to see if I can find some factual and personal info on it.
I will post it as soon as I find some good stuff. :)
Hang in there!
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I’ve been taking Yaz, and it has helped tremendously. I still suffer from some symptoms, but to a much milder degree. I feel so much better. I would get your hormones checked to see if they are out of balance, sometimes a hormone imbalance causes the symptoms to be worse. I found out my estrogen was really low, which made my PMDD symptoms so much worse. I have a list on my blog journeyofacrazywoman.blogspot.com of low estrogen. You can find lists by doing a google search too.
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learning to stay positive, take control, and enjoy life that’s the moto.good!
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Stef , PMDD Advocate
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