Suicide or PMDD Suicide, is there a difference?
This is a very close subject to me, not because I have actually tried to commit suicide, but a close friend of mine did, and succeeded.
This is a touchy subject for some, but because I am ‘all out there’ with the things I write and that’s what makes this site so much different than most, and mostly more helpful, please keep some things in mind.
Whatever your feelings or thoughts are on suicide or on what I write regarding this post, please feel free to comment, I sincerely hope you will. All I ask is that you comment with respect the way I have always done with all of you. I want to continue writing openly and freely and hope everyone will feel free to continue commenting open and freely.
Okay, enough of all that…
Someone I grew up with from grade school thru high school and continued staying in touch thru college felt as though she could no longer go on and ended her life. She was a single mom, had a daughter, had family around, still in touch with the little girl’s Dad.
Some would say this was the most selfish act that she could ever commit. She left her daughter without a Mother and constant questions for the rest of her life. She left family to answer questions that could have been prevented. Family and friends will forever be the one’s wiping that little girls eyes when she is sad and helping her get thru this unfortunate situation.
I can’t say one way or another how I feel about the final act. I can truly say that I don’t feel as though I could ever commit it. I will follow that with, there have been times during my 2 wk time, on numerous occasions, that the thought of leaving my children without their Mommy is the only thing that kept me hanging on. That and the support of my husband telling me it’s just the PMDD talking and I will feel better soon.
My friend had been up and down as far back as I can remember, I would say at least back to Middle School. During High School she spoke with doctors and was put on medication that never helped and they never had a diagnosis for her.
In College and after she spoke with Doctor after Doctor and was hospitalized numerous times for different episodes and suicide attempts. Once again, she had been on numerous medications, been given different diagnosis, you name it and still could not overcome the sadness and emptiness that overcame her.
I said earlier that I couldn’t say one way or another what I thought about her final act because I do find it incredibly selfish in regards to her daughter and her family and what they are left with. On the other hand, living with PMDD for as many years as I have and going thru 2 wks of every month with the sort of ups and downs that I deal with, I can’t imagine how heavy the burden must have felt on her to live with it daily and never feeling as though she had a break from it.
Truly, I don’t know how she did it for so many years. She desperately didn’t want to be a sad person. She wanted to be happy. I remember this all the way back to talks we had in high school just sitting outside and talking.
There are so many things that anger and sadden me about the whole thing. First, nobody could help. All the doctors and medicine in the world and noone could help. It just seems insane to me that out of everyone she saw, noone succeeded.
Second, so many tests run and nothing could show exactly what was going on or did noone go far enough to help. Was medication always given and doctors not push far enough thru the process? What all happened?
Maybe I am wrong. I know for me personally I have had to push more than one Doctor to get tests I wanted done. I whole-heartedly believe that we as individuals have to force a lot of Doctors to push forward. We can’t allow them to stop at the prescription pad. We must do research and we must push for more research to be done. We must spread the word openly without being afraid of how other’s might react.
I just feel as though in addition to all of our pushing Doctors must step forward and continue with their learning as well. Am I asking for too much? Is it too much to expect individuals to do their job with all of their abilities and some?
I feel like I am rambling now.
From the title of this post, Suicide or PMDD Suicide, I am getting off track.
A lot of Women that live with PMDD feel suicidal thoughts and emotions, and unfortunately some have these feelings every month.
Don’t get me wrong, Suicide IS Suicide. The outcome is the same. I just believe that Suicide from life problems or depression and suicide because PMDD has taken over once again for the hundredth month in a row should be discussed separately. Don’t you?
Suicidal thoughts or follow thrus during PMDD are NOT the cause of something has gone wrong in life. You have been mistreated, abused, life has hit you in the gut, etc…Literally, something triggers when your 2 wk time hits you. It IS like a light switch and does switch off and on as fast as a light switch. You are so down, so quickly without any idea why. You go from being out on a field trip with your kids to feeling deep down that you are the worst parent, worst wife, worst person in the world. Your chest hurts because the thoughts of being so incapable of taking care of your family the way you believe a Mommy should is so overwhelming.
You can’t even see what was going on 30 min before this hit more less all the days that you are a great and involved Mommy and taking care of everyone and everything. It’s as though it has dropped out of your head, you can’t find those thoughts.
Sounds insane?
Live It! Better yet, Live it month in and month out! This is PMDD at it’s worst.
Really I am not even sure why this subject came up for me to talk about right now. I am in my good week. I feel as though there are people out there, including Doctors, that believe PMDD isn’t as bad as it seems. It’s actually something else, but we gave it a prettier name. You know the rest.
I am just tired of it! I want more done about it. It is so real.
Sadly, Women are having to take Mood Stabilizers, Anti-Depressants, have Hysterectomys, Hormonal therapy, Work daily on their eating habits and exercise even when completely over-the-top exhausted…Does that not seem REAL enough.
Taking medication brings on it’s own set of problems, lower sex drives, weight gain, and so much more…Yet, for a lot of us it’s the only thing we can do to function enough to continue living and not taking a more permanent action.
If that’s not real enough, I just don’t know what is!
I get so mad with those doctors who think PMDD is not as bad as it really is. Or think it isn’t real. I even had psychosis with my PMDD – never had it before and only ever had it while premenstrual.
I’m sorry you lost your friend. I lost a friend to suicide too. I’m not sure whether its possible to separate suicide from PMDD suicide. That’s a hard one. It’s so complicated. The distress of having to deal with PMDD could cause some women to become depressed and suicidal… on top of the PMDD. I know while I was really sick with PMDD I had moments of wanting to give up. And that was the genuine me’s response to PMDD, not the PMDD itself.. if you get what I mean. Complicated!
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Since I started on my MEDS I haven’t had any suicidal thoughts, thank God. Before I even knew what I had I struggled with wanting to take my life for the longest time. I even became a cutter because I couldn’t handle all the feelings that I was having. I was pissed, hurt, lonely, confused, happy, sad, and many more. It’s so hard to deal with all those feelings at the same time. I even turned to Beer and Coke at one time because I couldn’t take it anymore. I need to try to escape from all those feelings. Yeah like that was going to work. I ended up ODing. Its sad that I had to run across PMDD online and diagnose myself. The Dr. had no Idea. Kept treating me for anxiety. Finally I feel free. I feel like I’ve never felt in my life before.
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WONDERFUL POST! As someone who has suffered with suicidal thoughts since 16 with every cycle your post brought tears to my eyes. For years I was told I was just Clinically depressed or worse …and of course with no greater knowledge I believed them…but as time grew on I saw a pattern…for no reason all of a sudden each month my life would turn upside down and I couldn’t cope with ANYTHING and I felt so overwhelemed and ending everything was always the first thing that came to my mind…then POP..I was back to my cheery self in a week or two. Hard for others to understand – even for me to understand at a young age!
I’ve taken many antidepressants in the past to deal with my “depression” and non have ever done ANYTHING for the periods of time which i’m dealing with PMDD. They’ve nicely allowed me to gain 80lbs in 6 months and almost ruin my marriage due to no sex drive (a week or so a month of sex drive is better then NONE). I’m at a stage where I will not allow myself to take antidepressants even for just the 2 weeks cause of what they’ve done to my life in the past.
“Sadly, Women are having to take Mood Stabilizers, Anti-Depressants, have Hysterectomys, Hormonal therapy, Work daily on their eating habits and exercise even when completely over-the-top exhausted…Does that not seem REAL enough.”
It’s often depressing enough…to feel that no matter how hard you try to HELP YOURSELF…you still aren’t better…I’ve been to doctor after doctor for years trying to get HELP..to find that miracle ‘Cure’ that just isn’t there…I don’t want to live like this…I exercise, I eat healthy, I take herbs, vitamins, got to therapy..ect….but I still often feel down in a hole.
I suppose for myself..I have 2 children, that like yourself, when I look at them I could never leave them alone..and often it keeps me able to hold on one more cycle. I have a very supportive husband – lord knows a lesser man would have been gone years ago…family is still an issue as they don’t want to see the seriousness of the condition and how it really effects OUR family…mainly cause they don’t get to be here to SEE the depressed, angry, overwhelmed and sick ME.
It’s nice to hear someone be HONEST and forward about something ALOT people deal with, but often isn’t talked about!
Kira’s last blog post..My “week” has gone too fast….
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Hi there, I just kinda stumbled on here. This morning I made an appointment with my gyno to discuss the PMDD I have. Every month I want to kill myself. The last few days have been especially bad. I have a boyfriend who rides my roller coaster every month. I am starting to feel like I just should be single so no one has to experience my extreme lows all the time.I used to take birth control for 15 years. Stopped because I really thought they were messing up my system, causing depression. I’m really lost right now. I hate the idea of taking antidepressants but I don’t know what to do. I am a recovering addict and am afraid to take something because I do not want to become dependent. Also I read that they cause weight gain and I have major body image issues. So what is the solution? I am only 32 and I cant imagine living the rest of my life this way, or even the next 6 months.
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This is the first time I have ever written a comment on any site or blog. I started crying when I read this article…I felt like I was the only one that had suicidal thoughts during PMS. Lately, it has gotten worse…especially tonight when I felt like I was having an “out of body” experience. It was as if I was watching myself from a distance and I was moving in slow motion. I have never been diagnosed with PMDD but always thought I had some form of it and now I know I must have it. I am always happy again once the “evil” flows (as I have always called it) and I know people think I am crazy. Heck, even I think I am crazy.
In the last four months I have cut out refined sugar and white flour from my diet but I continue to get worse. Each month it is getting harder and harder to realize the suicidal thoughts are not a good idea. Truthfully, the only thing that saves me is that I do not want my parents to inherit my debt after I am gone. It scares me because I have never been like this before (with the suicidal thoughts) until the last couple of years. It actually feels good to write about this even if no one is really reading this…thanks for the help tonight…I do fell a little better.
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admin Reply:
April 2nd, 2009 at 4:56 pm
Hi Alison,
(You spell your name exactly like my sister :)
There are definitely people reading this and feeling like they are reading their own stories. You are not the first, you won’t be the last, unfortunately, person that posts here saying they started crying knowing they weren’t alone.
I often use the out of body experience term to describe different behaviors during PMDD. It’s exactly like you can look down at yourself, see it all happening, but not stop the insanity. I have the exact same thing that happens to me with a really stressful month.
In addition to the cutting out of refined sugar and white flour, also try and exercise every day, even if that means just walking around the block, getting outside will make you feel alot better. Also, getting some good sleep, 8 hrs during your 2 wk time, which I know is almost impossible since sleep is so distracted during this time.
If you ever feel like it’s getting too bad, come here.
I will have the forum open soon to make discussions back/forth easier than just the blog.
Hang in there! It’s my 2 wk time too.
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Alison Reply:
July 25th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Here I am again…crying and thinking horrible thoughts…so I came back to this site tonight and I feel a little better. After I posted the first comment in March I started keeping a journal about my symptoms and I have noticed that the suicidal thoughts and nonstop crying are happening every other month. So, I am now certain I have an “evil” ovary…ha, ha…well, at least that is what I am telling myself.
I have continued to eat clean by avoiding refined sugar and white flour and even started working out again but the PMDD is still controlling me for about 2 weeks every other month. On the opposite months I just have the typical pms experience…which still sucks but is better than the self loathing I have right now.
I just wanted to thank you again for having this blog…it has helped me tremendously in gaining perspective that I am not alone…especially tonight…
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Nicky Reply:
July 20th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
I just wanted you to know that i read your comment about PMDD and as i am sat typing this tears are pouring down my face because your comments were so sincere and my own thoughts and feelings are in this exact nightmare as your own.
x
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I stuggle with this each and every month. I almost ruin everything… my family, my work life, my own life every month trying to deal with this horrible disorder. I’ve wanted to kill myself almost every month since I was 10 years old–I’m 30 now and it is so deflating. I know I’m not alone with the women that suffer, but I feel like I’m alone with the cure. No doctor wants to help. They want to push drugs on me–if one more prescribes anti-depressants to me, I think I will stuff them down his/her throat! And doctors don’t or won’t provide surgical treatment because I have never had kids (never will, thanks) and keep telling me I’m going to want to have kids someday (please also know that I told them my husband has had a vasdectomy for that reason–I don’t WANT kids!). So, they don’t want to solve the problem and instead collect the $30 copay that comes with it every 3 months. “Who cares if she finally commits suicide, right? As long as I get my $30!” That’s the way it feels anyway.
I’m saddened by your friend. I too have lost a childhood friend due to suicide. While it may be a selfish act, it is just as selfish to not help the people when they most need it.
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I just found out a month ago that PMDD existed. For the last 14 years I have fought to stay alive. With the help of wellebutrin and abilify. I have been hospitalized with psycosis 5 times. Everytime I was menestrating. My doctor said that that had nothing to do with it. But no one has yet diagnosed my problem. I had suicidal thoughts once a month for a day. And the next day I would think why did I feel that way. The irritability has destroyed my relationships except my marriage. But I could tell my husband wasnt able to handle this anymore. I have felt that the doctors were just throwing me a pill until the next visit. The heart palpitations were so bad but I was told that I was just more aware of my heart beat then others. I have asked for xanax for the anxiety. But was told that this would pass. But my husband asked the same doctor for his anxiety and he was given three a day! I finally musteresd up enough strength to go to another doctor. A GYN. There was only a nurse practisioner available. I was scared because I knew she would just think I was crazy and agree with the other docs. I had been able to prempt the suicidal thoughts that would occur every twenty days with abilify 30mg. But that just took the edge off. I just needed to have my periods regulated so I could prempt the day before my period with a 5 mg of abilify. She recommended I use YAZ. I have been on it for a month. The first month in forever that I didnt have to fight suicidal thoughts. I was just sad. That was it. The bloating was not severe. I am hoping I wont be asked when Im “due” in the future. The iritabbility last only for an hour where I can control it and blame it on my period and not my spouse. Im experiencing lots of emotions and anger toward insensitive doctors. I missed out in raising my five children because I was wrestling with my issues. My husband is beleiving that this may be the answer. He is all I have left.
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Wow, I am so glad I found this article. I’ve known I’ve had severe PMS for years (I’m only 23), but have really been suspecting PMDD for the past several months.
I began keeping a journal in January of this year to see if I could pinpoint dates and recognize my behaviour as routine, and maybe take it to the doctor so that they can see how I’m only like this right before I start. I’ve been told before that its normal for girls to be depressed and since I’m in college, its probably just stress. That’s crap. I’m on a happy/psycho 2 week cycle every month.
Last night I blew up on my boyfriend. It was really terrible… We were talking over the internet (thank god) so he didn’t see the barrage of tears and anger, but right at the height of it I had the worst panic attack I’ve had in years. I had difficulty breathing, my heart started palpitating, and I felt like I wasn’t even in my own body… Its werid to say that but I totally understand what you all mean when you say you felt outside of your body, like the situation wasn’t really happening but you couldn’t stop. I actually started thinking about cutting myself or driving into a tree because I was so ashamed of myself and miserable, then 5 minutes later after unleashing on him I slowly calmed down and was just embarrassed.
I know now that I have to get help. If not, I’m going to ruin my relationship and I’ll never forgive myself if I do. While my boyfriend isn’t the most supportive guy, I definitely give him credit for sticking around through this every month. I get suspicious and terribly depressed, then a week and a half later I’m fine again. I’m afriad I’ll drive him away if I can’t get my hormones under control.
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admin Reply:
May 13th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
Hi Jessica!
Isn’t it funny (or not so funny!) that with PMDD they push it off to anything and everything else. Maybe it’s because there aren’t tests to ‘prove’ it, and they just really don’t truly understand it.
You’re right! It is crap that it is just college stress. True college is stressful, it’s also fun and it’s the same whether you are male or female. It’s a change in life, just like getting married, or starting any new life change, but that doesn’t account for the happy/psycho cycle EVERY month as you put it.
I would recommend that when you are going thru your tougher times, you give yourself a break. Rather than talking online or even the phone, stop the conversation when you first feel it inside you coming on, take a bath (if you aren’t in a dorm of course :), take a quiet walk (alone), lay in bed with your headphones on and literally just let your entire body feel lighter. It really does help. It will help you and him and you won’t have to continue figuring out how to say ’sorry’ and mean it when things continue to happen. It also helps because you don’t have to deal with the embarrassment, you won’t have done anything wrong, but just taken care of you.
It is very difficult for men, esp boyfriends, but if there is any way you can get him to email me privately or via the forum or site, I have emailed back/forth with many Husbands and Boyfriends to help explain.
I am here to help, don’t do anything, cutting…anything! I am here to talk too.
Hang in there!
Stef
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All this has been very insightful, so thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I was looking online for specific info on PMDD and suicide and found this. I’m 28 now. When I was around 19 I did attempt suicide by overdosing on sleeping pills, long story short, I’m thankful I survived. The interesting thing was I got my period the very next day after the suicide attempt. No one made much or it or even made a connection because of the lack of awareness of PMDD. Back then, I did not even know it existed.
I’m seeking help for the anxiety and depression I’ve been dealing with for years…always have had it, but much more for about a week or so before my period. My PMS is pretty bad and symptoms can be sometimes 1-2 weeks before. It’s like two weeks I’m fine and then I’m not…my life revolves around this and I feel powerless that I am not in control. For instance, at work I would worry about my schedule hoping difficult jobs were scheduled at the time of the month when I was normal and alert…just another thing to add to my laundry list of worries:). A day of two before my period I often become severly depressed and take a sick day.
I’ve just started keeping track of my moods….I have not been diagnosed with PMDD, but what I am going through seems to indicate it’s what I have. I hope a pattern will emerge by keeping track of my moods…
I’ve tried zoloft in the past for general anxiety and stopped a year ago. Right now I tried Effexor for a day, and had horrible side effects such as buzzing in my ears. Meeting my doctor, still trying to figure out the right medication.
1)What specific tests can I get, if any, to help identify PMDD?
2)To Shelly B ( hope you read this) – I’m thinking of trying YAZ.It seems to work for you. Are you taking just YAZ or YAZ with Abilify?
Any thoughts? Would appreciate any feedback. Thank you!
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admin Reply:
May 13th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
Hi Ahalya,
I’m sorry for your struggles with PMDD, and it is so frustrating that the hormones and suicide attempts aren’t ever connected. I hear it all too often.
I haven’t used Yaz, but hopefully you will hear from Shelly B. If not, let me know and I will connect you with others.
Work and school are definitely the times that are difficult for most of us. Even the simplest of things like replying to all the posts and emails, I find myself all of a sudden staring out the window, almost just dozing off (but awake).
Hang in there and keep tracking. That will be about the only test you can give your doctor, or I should say the only info you can give your doc. There aren’t any tests they can run, other than tests to rule everything else out. Any hormone tests they run will come out normal because of the broad range they allow. Again, it’s just one of those things with PMDD, no tests to prove it…sucks, I know! The calendar, the pattern will be your best bet, for yourself and your doc.
Of course, ruling everything else out is a must too. thyroid, endo, fibroids, polyps, gluten issues, etc… Any of these things can increase your PMS and give PMDD symptoms.
Stef
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I read this last night, when I started feeling better and had my period. For maybe 6 months or so, I have been feeling depressed before my period. I would feel worthless, I’d have urges to break up with my boyfriend because I felt he deserved better than me. Then as I gradually felt better, my period would come. Now, its been only depression I felt. Moodswings, crying, getting angry at people, all over small things. Yesterday however, something so minor set me off and the whole day. I kept crying over things that had I keep bottled up (losing friends, feeling left out). This was the first time I wanted to kill myself, I had rapid thoughts of ending my life. I even hurt my wrist, not by much, it was more of…it felt nice to do it because I felt like I could end it right then and there if I really wanted to. I felt worthless to everyone, I felt like no one cared about me..and all this pain felt like it was longer than just a day, even though it only lasted that long. I felt trapped, like I couldn’t stand being alone but I couldn’t stand being with people either, something I feel at times but not so intense. I kept crying and crying, not knowing why since I was no longer thinking of what bothered me. Later that night, 2am, I decided to watch a movie to calm myself down. I felt so much better, and long behold, I had my period. This is the first time this has happened to me, and it scares me because I felt so close to doing it. I kept thinking, is this the real me or is this the PMS throughout the whole thing. It just felt too real to be something that would be over after my period starts.
At my last appointment with my gyno, I told her about the depression I felt before my period. She said birth control pills should help. If they don’t, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m afraid of my relationships suffering. I wonder if I should be single, because every month I feel like this and I don’t think its fair of my boyfriend to deal with all of this. Or anyone.
Thank you for writing about this, I really do appreciate this. I thought I was going insane..it saddens me though, that so many women have been going through this for years. It makes me feel like I won’t ever get over this…but I will try to be optimistic. Thank you again
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admin Reply:
May 26th, 2009 at 1:56 am
Hi Jen,
That’s THE ONLY thing that does scare me about posting so much about PMDD is that Women all of a sudden do see how many years so many of us lived with it. You do start to feel that overwhelming feeling of, what’s the point to try anything when nothing seems to ‘really’ work for anyone.
I have to repeat what you said, “stay optimistic!’ No there aren’t any straight forward answers or cures, but I was saying to someone else, there are steps of PMDD, I believe. We go thru the times of finding out (figuring out) what it is that is causing our lives to be in turmoil. Then we go thru the anger of no one understanding or even believing it’s real. Next, we feel like we can work on managing our symptoms and then it goes from there. Staying positive and optimistic will help you.
I do want to hit on what your gyno said about BCP. First, almost all Women that try BC suffer more. If you notice a change once you start them, please! please! tell her and stop them. Don’t feel worse if they don’t work for you, just know that a lot of times they won’t, but continue talking to her about other options if they don’t. I just hate for Women to get so much more frustrated when they try something and it doesn’t work. I have been there, I understand how frustrating and aggravating it becomes.
Stef
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Dusty Faye Lewis Reply:
October 9th, 2009 at 11:40 am
I have been reading this site all morning… Like others I cried when I read “my life” in everyones words. I suffer from depression or so i have been told… tried every anti-deprss made and i hate them all, but i noticed you said BC makes this worse??? I also have PCOD, (ovarian cysit)which have a list of smpthoms of its own but have been on th pill since I was a young teen so that I do have a period at all… I am sad most everyday, I do have up times… im a roller coaster but become MUCH worse a week before my period. Suisidal, angry, irritable, sleep for days wont talk to any one etc… Im sure I have PMDD, but I guess i could still have depression too, I am only 29 and now have to have surgrey to have pre cancer cells removed from my cervix (what eles can go wrong. I told my gyno about this last year and he blew me off, now i see YAZ commercials and want to ask about that but can you tell me more about the BC making PMDD worse?
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admin Reply:
October 9th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
Hi Dusty,
For some Yaz has been great. Unfortunately for a lot of us with PMDD, BCP have the opposite effect on us, causing out PMDD to be much worse.
I am sorry you are struggling with so much, especially at such a young age. Yes, you could still be living with depression and have PMDD which could make it worse. It’s hard to find the line, a doctor that believes in PMDD, works with women who have PMDD would be great to talk to.
You mentioned you have tried every anti depressant and don’t like them- did any of them help you in any way, you just didn’t like the side effects, or did they not help at all?
Also, if you don’t mind me asking, did you start the pill so early for prevention or because of health issues? I ask because I am trying to find out if they were using it to help w/ cycle issues. I know with PCOS you can have irregular or ‘no’ periods anyway, off of the pill and of course depression with it.
Any other info you can give me would be great to try and help you a little more. Just remember we are here to help and listen.
I know it sucks- Hang in there! Also, if you haven’t I recommend you join our free forum at http://www.lifewpmdd.ning.com where we have over 100 Women that live with PMDD. They are awesome and supportive!
Stef
Dusty Faye Lewis Reply:
October 9th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Thank you Stef…
I will be joining.
I started the pill when I was 14 as preg prevention, but soon after had pain. I was then shorty after told I have PCOD. After a few year I was told I didnt, then a ultra sound at the ER confirmed I did and a lot of tiny one bursting. Which is what the pain was that sent me to the ER.
So I started a different pill they told me that would be better to treat that plus metformin cuase i was gaining so much weight so fast and aldactone because i had so much dark hair growing. I stopped when I was about 23,tired of taking so much medicine (i had been taking anti depressants for yrs now too, and stoped them too) BUT I never had a period… So about 3 yrs later I went to the OBGYN again and got back on to regulate my periods. I have been on the pill ever since.
As far as anti depresants, I first started them when I was about 20yrs old. I started with paxil, I had been seeing a counsler who diganosed me with major dpression. I have had some trauma in my life, my parents divorce when i was 15 and they both left me and my younger sister in a house alone to raise ourselves (nut shell version)I was molested as a young child, my parents were drinkers and became violent torward each other, and my mother turned into a speed addict. Sorry just giving you a lil history as to why she may have diagnoused me that way. Long story short Paxil and the ativan made me emotionless and no sex drive ( i had just gotten married) and so I stopped about 3months later. I would give anything to feel that way again now tho, no emotion has to be better than every emotion. After my divorce a yr later I then too started effexior, did nothing, then wellburtin, did nothing but I had put on about 25 lbs by then… I gave up for a few yrs, then was so depressed I wouldnt get out of bed, I quit my job, and just gave up. I started back with another drug but dont recall what, did nothing but make me gain more weight. I then tried Lexapro, which WORKED! I felt great, perfect… like the old me! BUT after 4 months I had packed on 40 lbs so i became more depressed about that and had to stop, went back to wellbutrin, but stopped a few month later cuz it did nothing, the i tryed cybalta, and omg was that an experiance, i had internal shakes brian zaps, blured vision, i stuck it out for a few months then i went to see a phyc and he prescribbed, TOPAMX AND LAMOTRIGINE and cut the cybalta in half… it did nothing for me at all… so stopped taking everything all together, but now the depression is coming back… dragging me into the dark and i feel it settling in, its strange cuz it feels good to be sad, not not good at the same time… so i have been thinking about restatring the anti depreeants but wont because I am already at the highest weight I have ever been.. Just looking for other ways to feel better
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[...] Suicide or PMDD Suicide is there a difference Life w PMDD Posted by root 7 minutes ago (http://lifewpmdd.com) This is the first time i have ever written a comment on any site or blog the heart palpitations were so bad but i was told that i was just more aware Discuss | Bury | News | Suicide or PMDD Suicide is there a difference Life w PMDD [...]
Hi, I didn’t even know there was such a thing as PMDD. I logged into the the computer today and typed in suicide feeling before my periods and it led me here. I have been scared and suffering for the last two months. And I realized that these thoughts of suicide where only right before I start my period. They were so strong I planned it out in my head and everything although at the same time I wanted so bad to call somebody for help. But I knew if I did I would be labled. I don’t want to be labled as depressed, suicide, unstable person. I have a 14 year old son and a wonderful new fiance. I am so scared he will think I am some depressed person he will leave. I have never felt this way before and Normally am able to handle my life even during stressfull times without feeling like I have to end it. But those days Nothing else I could concentrate on whatsoever. Reading this post today at least made me realize that I am not alone. But it doesn’t feel like anyone has it under control. That is what scares me now. Is this something I will have to live with forever??? Why would it come on out of the blue when I am 31 years old. Weird.. but also scary I don’t want to do something stupid because of a ” temporary condition” And the thought of going on some type of medications seem like it be be labling me. But if it would honestly solve the problem that would be something to think about.
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admin Reply:
October 9th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Hi Tory,
I apologize for getting back to you so late, I set up a new comment program and it wasn’t emailing me to let me know I had comments.
Anyway, PMDD can come at any time and 30’s is not a shock to me, it’s actually quite common.
Now that you know what you have, you know that you are not alone I hope that you can work thru these thoughts whenever they come.
The concentration problems is known as a ‘fog’ and we all go thru it, I use post it notes and spirals to keep up, it helps.
A lot of us have it under control, we just can’t get rid of it. I think you meant (and I hate assuming :) that you meant that you feel like noone can cure it, you are correct. Even Women that have hysterectomys can’t say that 100 percent they won’t have any signs of it, though most don’t have any signs.
For me, I feel as though mine is under control for example, I don’t rage at my family, I don’t sit and cry depressed, I still take care of my household (have a clean home), help with homework for 3 out of 4 children in school, take care of my 4 yr old each day, take the kids out to play after school each day, etc…
Yes, I change my schedule a bit to work around it. When I’m feeling the PMDD migraines or insane cramps and pains, I sit outside alone and watch them play rather than taking them to the park and play. Heck, they are still outside playing w/ friends and toys so I think they are still having a blast. :)
Things like that, changing a schedule, but really is that any different than comparing me to being a stay at home Mom that works from home to a Mom that works away from the home? Not really. We all have different schedules regardless of PMDD or not.
I think it’s just a matter of acknowledging, you can’t change your hormones, this isn’t your fault, you are still at the beginning though of having to admit to all of these things and that is a tough spot. I remember being there, as a teen.
For some Women they don’t have to deal with these sorts of changes in lifestyle until menopause, but that’s beyond their control too, just like this is beyond yours. :)
If you don’t like meds you could always try 5htp from a local health food store, it kick starts your seratonin and works like an anti depressant w/o the side effects (or w/o the name ‘label’).
It’s been a while since you posted this, again I apologize for my late commenting, please get back to us and let us know how you are doing. Also, we have an incredible free Women’s forum if you haven’t joined yet. http://www.lifewpmdd.ning.com
Stef
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Hello to all you women out their that are going through the same as me.
I have just been put on anti depressants and my doctor says I am depressed but I know I have PMDD. I live in Spain and my doctor is Spanish so I am going to print off some info and take it to her. Every month for the last 3 years I have got worse and worse to the point where it now lasts 3 weeks out of every cycle and i get so suicidal. My partner is fab but when I am down I just want to die, last night I couldn’t stop crying and it got to the point where I couldn’t stop shaking and sobbing. It only subsided after about half hour of my boyfriend hugging me so tight I could hardly breath.At the time my behaviour seems fine but afterwards for example when I woke up this morning I was mortified and embarrassed that I couldn’t snap out of it. My partner says that I change so much that I am horrible to everyone and hate everyone and will not accept anyone’s opinion. this is ruining my life and I just want it to go away. I also have 2 kids and the are at an age (10/11) where they want to support me but they feel its something they have done and try to be well behaved. I feel like the worst mother EVER. I really hope I don’t put weight on with these pills either as that will just make the whole thing even worse.
Thanks for listening to me rant on and on. xx
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admin Reply:
October 9th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
elmacri,
I believe that you can hit translate at the bottom of the site and choose what language and print info, that should help you take stuff to your doctor.
A lot of docs think we are just depressed. What I told my doc at the beginning was, “depression doesn’t follow a schedule, PMDD does.”
Of course our cycle does seem to usually make everything worse when you have PMDD so if you have anything else you will prob notice it gets worse during that time.
It is very embarrassing, I know I have been there, you will have to figure out what your main triggers are and work on them so that you can take a time out before it gets to a certain point.
All of us with PMDD have felt like the worst Mom, I think it’s a Mom thing regardless. We put so much on ourselves and when we fall and aren’t the strongest in the house we feel so guilty. Hang in there, as you figure out more of your triggers it will get easier. Don’t forget, it’s much better to take a Mom time out than it is to have to apologize over and over again for doing the same thing over and over again.
PMDD is such a Jekyll/Hyde disorder, I tell Men it’s like a light switch, it can change literally that fast- off/on and back again. I’m glad you have such a supportive partner, that will make all the difference.
A relaxing bath in lavender or Epson salt to relax your muscles works wonders or even a slow walk around the block- though not as fun as a bath. :)
You mentioned pills, but didn’t say which ones?
If you haven’t joined our free Women’s forum, it is wonderful, http://www.lifewpmdd.ning.com
Stef
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Again, another woman sitting here, sobbing. I’ve always had PMS, but until my second child was born, I never got it this bad, or this long. For four years I’ve felt as if I should run away from my family because they don’t deserve the hell I put them through. I am noise-sensitive, irritable, prone to fits of screaming and crying, and nothing is ever good…for two weeks… then everything lifts, the clouds disappear, and I feel as if it never happened!
I feel as if I am a child, since at least half of the time I am such a mess that I can barely leave the house or do anything of any worth. I hate everyone and everything, and am sure I am ruining my children and my life.
Nothing has helped so far.
How the hell do we live like this?
Suicide is something, like you, I think would scar our children beyond repair. But I do think (at times)if I just left they would be better, absolutely!
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admin Reply:
October 9th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Lisa,
I hope things are going okay, as you prob read above my comments weren’t being delivered to my email so I’m having to sort thru and catch up.
The noise some months can make me feel like fingernails are scraping a chalk board- YIKES!
You ask how we live like this? We learn what our worse triggers are and we start small and work from there. We have so many more Women coming forward now than we ever have- it’s amazing and so helpful!
Do you take any meds, vitamins?
What do you do for exercise, meditation, relaxation?
I tell everyone- I turn into the queen of baths during my 2 wk hell time. :) I add epson salt from the grocery store (so cheap, like a couple of bucks for a bag of it), it helps me relax, I turn on music and let the horrible thoughts cruise thru my mind while I’m alone. By the time I’m done, I can get out and face the world (family) again and not have to apologize. I haven’t done anything wrong, just took a little Mommy time.
If you haven’t yet please join our forum, it’s free and the Women are amazing- by now you may already be there, but if not it’s http://www.lifewpmdd.ning.com
Stef
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My girl takes yaz, and all in all it has been pretty good. She probably did suffer from a few minor complications but nothing too bad. I actually liked the article thanks a lot for writing it.
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Hello everyone, I can’t say that I’m glad to know that all of you are suffering from such an awful feeling, all I know is that i am not alone, I myself have PMDD and over the past 6 months it has been getting progressively worse. Just this morning I almost did the craziest thing and for whatever reason I almost took a lot or narcotics that had been prescribed to me for migraines and pain killers that I was taking for a broken tail bone. I was on my knees crying not knowing why I felt the way I did. I was having severe anxiety and anger I was snapping at my little guys, I was very mean to them. As I was looking at myself in the mirror I realized that my little guys were also looking at me with great confussion and as looked back at them I snaped out of it and was woundering what the heck i was doing. I try to fight against this every month and for as low as get I never let it beat me, but I’m scared that it might hit me so bad that next time I won’t be able to stop myself. I believe that my little guys were there for a reason today. I always hide and cry in the closet or bathroom so that they don’t see what is happening to me, but today was diffrent I actually had the drugs and was ready to just do it not realizing my boys were watching me. My sons are what keep me strong I can’t leave them I need to be here to protect them and take care of them. Sometimes are worse than others, I cry and yell at everyone I am mean and hateful I snap and start saying bad things to my very inocent and supportive husband who knows that this is not the real me. I don’t want to take antidepresants because I am afraid of gaining weight besides I don’t feel depressed, it’s just those two darn weeks every month that make me flip out and I feel like I just want to stop those feelings right there and then I feel like I am screaming inside and like something is trapped inside of me and I can’t release it, I feel like I am yelling for help at the top of my lungs but no one can hear me, I feel like this monster is going to beat me, I’m scared.
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admin Reply:
October 9th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Veronica,
Prozac can be taken just during your PMDD hell weeks, you don’t have to take it all month long.
I don’t know if you are even looking for an anti to take, but if you are struggling but hate the thought of meds because you aren’t depressed, this is an option.
It is just a bandaid though, anti’s won’t cure PMDD of course, but they do help me keep from raging at my lil’ ones.
Stef
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Wow,
I just started my period yesterday and I thank God I don’t feel like I did the day before. I too feel like killing myself on a monthly basis. I am two different people. The one that is planning to ride around Lake Tahoe and the other who can’t get out of bed until 11 because I am exhausted and in too much pain. On top of this I found out I am anemic and creeping into the underweight category. I know I am not a crazy person. My hormones are crazy not me.
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Thank you so much for this post. Suicide, alone, is a very uneasy topic for people to talk about but it is so healthy to vent your true feelings and be heard and understood!
I have been to doctor after doctor the past 4 years and frankly, I’m tired of it and scared. The first couple of doctors I ever went to definitely diagnosed me with PMDD. I was put on antidepressants, Zoloft, and the dosage was switched every two weeks in conjunction with my cycle. I kept going back to my OBGYN stating this is not working, I’m losing all kinds of weight and can’t function. Thus began my hellious road with medication. I was put on antidepressant after antidepressant which, in turn, started to give me suicidal thoughts. I have acted on them twice, almost succeded once. I don’t know whether it was the medication or a combonation of the misery of living the way I was.
I’ve been to counselor after psychologist after psychiatrist. I’ve been diagnosed clinically depressed to bipolar, then having that taken back and just diagnosed with a mood disorder NOS (not otherwise specified). I’ve been on lithium, prozac, zoloft, trazadone, celexca, effexor, klonapine, valium, and some others I don’t remember all because doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. I’ve had MRI’s and EEGs done. I’ve been evaluated some many times and I fear that I’ll end up in your friends situation, not because I want to but because I feel nobody understands or gets it.
I’ve been medication free for the past 7 months, but I can’t get out of the cycle. I believe people need to be more aware and it does need to be recognized and talked about separately from depression. PMDD, in itself, has a tendency to cause a lot of the symptoms we feel already. We know its coming even on our good days. That makes us anxious, that makes us feel hopeless. Where is our help? I get so embarrassed trying to explain to my employer why I need to take a personal day.
It is so good to know that I’m not alone. It is so good to know that I’m not crazy. Being a psychology major, we tend to overanalyze anyway and I often times and have been brainwashed into thinking maybe something tragic did happen to me when I was little, but its the hormones talking. There needs to be more support groups just like this where women can get together and express their insecurities and struggles and not be judged or looked down upon. We need to unite and fight for our sanity. Fight for each other and the well-being of our lives!
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Just reading your post made me burst into tears. Im 30 and have had pmdd since I started my period. It didnt help that my dad was beating the shit out of me while my mom lay asleep on some painkiller because she has it as well. Every damn month I have vivid colorful visions of offing myself. I imaging falling off a cliff or hanging myself. Its strange because I hate physical pain and if I were to ever do it it would be with pills, so I dont understand the violent visions. Ive taken depo shots to stop my period which only made me fat and sad all the time. I would cry for hours about anything and everything and my douchebag boyfriend would talk down to me for it (were not together anymore). I got off depo and starved myself to lose weight so now I have an eating disorder and compulsive exercise. Also I get scared of gaining weight when I see fat people, its becoming a phobia…Im slowly losing it.
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admin Reply:
August 24th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Delilah,
I am so sorry for your pain right now. I’m 36 as of a few days ago and my PMDD though it was already bad as a teen, got much worse into my 30’s. You may be starting to find yours is taking a bit of a turn, a lot of us go thru it. It sucks! I will be the first one to admit it.
THe vividness is very normal, or I should say, is very common amongst those of us with PMDD. I’m glad that you are able to share with us, I tell others it feels scary, but if it’s just the feeling of looking down on yourself and imagining things, BUT you know you aren’t really thinking about doing anything dangerous, then a lot of it is something the PMDD does to us. Please! Please! if you feel as though it’s getting worse and the thoughts are becoming more real and feeling more like a plan you want to set in action, go to the hospital, call a friend, see your doctor, or as always I am available to talk over the phone too- any hour, any time.
Unfortunately I do understand all to well the medicine weight and how difficult it is to get off. I took Paxil so many years ago, per a doctors suggestion- ACK!!! My story is already on this site with regards to Paxil, but the short version is that it took me almost 2 yrs to get 20 pounds off. It came off very slowly is what I’m trying to say, a little here, a little there over 2 yrs after stopping the Paxil and going back to my Prozac. This was in addition to me walking 2-3 miles a day, sometimes not on the w/e, but always M-F. It was very frustrating, annoying and down right miserable.
It did finally come off, but it left a mark in my head. I didn’t starve myself, I have 4 kids- I ate with them, etc… and tried not to make a huge ordeal about the food, but it was an ordeal in my head.
As far as the eating disorder, I’m getting personal- are you not eating still? It said you starved yourself, but I didn’t know if you started back to eating small amounts (not enough to stay fueled) or if you were throwing it up.
These are definitely things that need to be addressed. With PMDD, during your 1-2 wk time, whichever you have, things like eating disorders can tend to get worse, please get checked out.
PMDD causes us to feel so overwhelmed and we feel as though even the smallest problems are so huge, this of course then makes them larger.
We are here for you.
Stef
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i have been struggling with my period every month for as long as i can remember. i am getting so tired of having to say “i feel like this because of my pms– i get really bad pms.” i feel like hiding out, and just being alone in my bedroom, and sleeping. i get exhausted about a week and a half before and it gets progressively worse up until it starts. i, too, get suicidal feelings and have vivid visions of hanging myself from the tree outside or putting a gun in my mouth and blowing my brains out. it’s scary as hell, and what’s worse is that i feel like my fiance (who is extremely supportive, luckily) or family couldnt possibly understand and it makes me feel like a crazy person. or like one poster said, like im a child. i feel worthless and depressed, my thoughts become negative and i feel lazy and lethargic and just want to lock myself up in a room and be alone until it all is over. im tired of dealing with this every month. the good part of the month is wonderful and NORMAL and then it happens… i cross over into the darkside and have to endure the familiar pain all over again. this is not how life should be… we should not be spending half of our lives (basically that is what it is) battling these hormone shifts and feeling worthless.
i’m about to get mine any minute, or day now… until then, i will just eat popcorn and icecream and junk (since i don’t seem to have any control over those horrible eating patterns that go along with it too), feel bloated and irritable and try my best to avoid snapping at anyone or being completely irrational. this SUCKS.
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I was doing a search on pmdd to help my partner understand what I have been going thru and came across this article. Thank you very much for writing it.
It’s been a month now since I was released from the hospital for attempted suicide. I will make my long story short. I’m a single mom of three daughters, my oldest was diagnosed with pmdd only 6 mths ago and was put on yaz. It was the first time I had heard of pmdd. She would suffer migraines to the point of blacking out, become extremely introverted (she’s an outgoing athlete)and just wasn’t herself. The yaz has helped her a great deal. I digress… on top of everything else, I’m also a newly recovering alcoholic, and when the symptoms would start affecting me, I chalked it up to going through withdrawal and all the “changes” that were happening in my life. After being released from the hospital, I went and say my family doctor. She, knowing what I had been going through physically (I had been keeping her informed about my depression, periods, etc.) and she suggested that I also have pmdd. The hospital Psych doctor also agreed, along with being peri-menopausal. Because I can’t take birth control (that leads to manic depression for me), they have put me on anti-depressants. This month, I had seriously hoped that they would work, and they did, until ovulation, and then day’s before and after my period. I can’t deal with anything. I push everyone away, work off to the side and I just “wait” until it’s over. The only thing that kept me “sane” (and I say that loosely) was going to my AA meetings. In those rooms, there is a sense of support and although they don’t have pmdd (most are men), we all suffer the same symptoms to some degree and it’s nice to hear the wisdom that other’s offer. I’m seriously thinking of applying the 12 steps of AA to my pmdd. LOL 1. I admit that I am powerless over my pmdd and that my life has become unmanageable.
ok.. rambling. Thanks again for your website and your wisdom. May other’s find it as useful as I have.
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I feel so relieved right now reading everyones thoughts and how they feel. since i was 11 i thought i had depression. i used to cut myself. not so much try and kill myself eventho i felt like i wanted to die but i would slice my skin off to take my pain away inside. it felt so good b/c i felt the pain from wat i was doing and all this anger inside and no longer felt hurt and sad. I felt like it made me stronger. crazy i know. i am now 27 yrs old. over the years it has got soooo much more worse. about 3 or so yrs ago by bf left me. one thing he couldnt take was the way i was up and down about everything. im still inlove with him to this day. i ended up puttin myself in the hospital b/c i hated myself. i lost him. i hated that i couldnt change the way i felt…up…down..up…down. i have been off and on deression meds. but i feel as tho they didnt work for me. over time i have been making note when i feel this way and how i am feeling.
its right before i start my period! yesterday i feel so irritated about everything. someone would ask me something so simple and i have to control myself not to flip out on them! when on a normal day it wouldnt have botherd me at all. last night i stayed up till 4am. cryin in my bed like a freakin baby. i am 27 and i was cryin for my mommy. cuz i can take feeling this way anymore. im sad, i hate myself, i look in the mirror at myself and just ball. i feel worthless. ugly stupid. just everything.i JUST DONT WANNA BE HERE ANYMORE and deal with this. i wanna love myself. and alot of days i do! but alot i deff dont. idk if there is something that can help with this but i rly hope so cuz as time gos on its gettin worse and i cant learn to deal with it anymore. its like its taking control of my life. i feel like ill never be happy or be happy with anyone. i was starting to think that a few years about i had 2 tumors on my pituitary gland. i had them removed and everything is fine now. but i always had a feeling my hormones were rly f*ed up and maybe all that had something to do with it. but now i see im not the only one. i feel for all of you but also am glad to know now im not the only one.
take care i wish u all the best
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Hi all,
I am struggling with these feelings now. What I have read on this site reflects everything that I am feeling and has led me to finally decide to take some action and I will go and see my GP about this. I don’t know how much is known about this in the UK, it probably varies from doctor to doctor.
My other complication is that I have been medicated from depression since I was 13, that’s 20 years now. My current meds are venlafaxine (effexor) and I have been taking these for 9 years. I have always thought my chemical imbalance and subsequent depression has been linked to hormones – mostly due to the fact that I was diagnosed at 13 – just as I was starting menstruation etc, and that my symptons changed dramatically during pregnancy in 2004.
I don’t know why my symptons are worsening now – age? or the meds need changing? We shall see.
I am trying to fight off the suicidal thoughts – I too have a daughter and I too cried when I read the original post. All I can say is I am trying to weight up for my daughter which could be a better situation for her, a life with me like this or a life with her dad and a new mom. (We are not together but remain friends).
Thanks for listening :)
Baby
x
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Has anyone thought about surgery? After one suicide attempt…(I started my period the next morning in the hospital.) I’ve had several suicide thoughts that are always the day before. 2 weeks before I’m in a rage, flying off the handle at my kids and husband. I have panic attacks, bloating, cravings, weight gain, ect…You name it I have it. I have figured out that I only have about 7 days when I feel good. I can’t live like this any longer. It is unexceptable for me and my children. I have 2 kids with aspergers and a husband with aspergers. So I get very little emotional support. I have been misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder. That made it really bad because the medication made me literally CRAZY and delusional. They figured out that was wrong and said OCD. No matter what I do, exercise, food, supplements I still feel terrible every month. I get so tired the few weeks before that it is almost impossible to have the strength to exercise. My family doctor finally realizes that it is definately PMDD and has agreed to help me find someone to do a complete hysterectomy with oophorectomy(removal of ovaries). I’m done with this. I can’t live my life this way. I’m hoping after surgery I can start on hormone replacement therapy and have a better life. It’s a big risk but so is the suicidal thoughts. I feel like I have no other choice. I’ve been so blessed to find you all on here going through the same thing. I truly understand what it feels like to lose control of your life and body all at the same time. We deserve to live.
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Dana Luna Reply:
February 17th, 2010 at 12:42 pm
Hi! Thank you for posting! I was just wondering have you had the surgery yet and if so….did it help the PMDD? Thanks again!
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admin Reply:
February 26th, 2010 at 5:50 pm
Hi Dana,
I just had my surgery on Feb. 16th, last Tuesday. I can’t say exactly what is going on yet with regards to PMDD, but I am definitely going to keep you guys updated.
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Roxi Reply:
March 7th, 2010 at 10:42 pm
I hope you are doing well. I haven’t been on this site for a awhile so this is just a little note to wish you a speedy recovery.
Roxi Reply:
March 7th, 2010 at 10:31 pm
Hey there. I know how you feel. I lost 38 years of my life to PMDD. I found that Effexor XR works for me but then again I’m on the tail end of menopause. I too was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. I know that bi-polar disorder can make PMDD much worse. To this day I don’t think the doctors really know if I am bi-polar or if it was all the PMDD. I’m still on Effexor and once my periods stop for good I will try to get off of it and see what happens. All I know is that I feel great now and I’m finally free! I haven’t had any PMDD symptoms in 2 years. I Hope your surgery goes well. But watch out for the HRT. HRT has some bad side affects. Who knows? You may not even need HRT. I know a lot of women suffer through menopause but it’s been a walk on the beach for me! Besides some night sweats and hot flashes I have no problems. I’m almost done and I’ve never needed HRT. So wait a while after your surgery and see how you feel.
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My girlfriend ran into the woods the other night….the emt’s and police with the help from dogs found her going into the lake…it was minus 7 here in Vermont…now she is in the hospital of couse…luckily we found her….she has been diagnosed with Pmdd….they have put her on prozac and given her a therapist…so she is coming home to our house…but I am very nervous after three days from this that she is not ready and I have no idea the best thing to do to help her…can anyone give abit of advice…..? thanks, Cash
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Roxi Reply:
March 7th, 2010 at 10:35 pm
Just be supportive. The fact that you posted to this site tells me that you are supportive. PMDD is serious and can rob a woman of the best years of her life. So just be as supportive as you can. Also, I would suggested to your girlfriend that she watch her diet. Spices, spicy food, alcohol, salt, and especially sugar will make her feel much, much worse. God luck to you both and God bless.
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Hi there…
Has anyone tried taking high potency vitamin B6? It should be taken with Magnesium Chelate, also take a B complex as well as the B6 and 2000mg of Evening primrose oil.
Every morning in the middle of my breakfast i take my magnesium followed by the b6 and 1000mg of evening primrose. Again, during my lunch i will take another 1000mg of evening primrose. I am definately feeling the difference and recommend it if you haven’t tried it. I am an absolute nightmare every month, my boyfriend and i had an extremely close call this weekend, he had just about had enough and i can’t blame him, it was awful. Irrational, depressed, low self esteem, lack of confidence, suicidal intrusive thoughts….you know how it goes. I’m really trying hard though. Yoga, meditation and Reiki are brilliant.
Laura
x
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