Redefining Life: Life w/ PMDD

Okay guys, some info for you

After searching and searching I have decided that I lost the posts I started for guys living or dating Women with PMDD.

So, here goes a new one.

First, let me praise you. I know my Husband should be praised, he has lived with me for so many years and we have learned some tricks that make the rough times less chaotic and work.

I know it’s a tough thing to live with, especially when you know something is going to happen every single month. If the two of you work on it together you can make a plan and stick to it as to what you can and cannot discuss or do during the 2 wk time.

Many of you have emailed me asking what you can do when ‘she’ won’t admit or acknowledge that she has PMDD or any other problems going on. That will have to be a whole other post. I have posted back to many of you, but will write a more permanent post soon.

Okay, back to the post at hand…

You cannot allow your Wife/Partner to abuse you emotionally or physically, just because she has PMDD. There is not a reason in the world I can come up with when this should be allowed and PMDD is no different. If this is happening, you must set boundaries. If she won’t admit to having PMDD then you can still set boundaries as to how you will and won’t be treated, regardless.

If you have children, you don’t want them to grow up thinking this is okay behavior. The cycle then continues, and yes it is that serious.

Next, don’t throw PMDD in your partners face. Don’t make her feel as though just because she is in a bad mood it is PMDD related. We can have bad moods just like everyone else, even during 2 wk PMDD times, without it being PMDD related.

Don’t contribute to the problem. By no means walk around on egg shells. That is no way for anyone to live, and I wouldn’t ever expect anyone to live that way. Most of you know what I mean by  not contributing, but here are a few examples…

Situation 1:
You have children
Your wife is in her 2 wk time and is exhausted and can’t wait for you to get home from work and give her a bit of a break
You call and inform her you are going out with the guys and will be home late
She’s left to do baths, dinner, clean up, homework, bedtime, and deal with any arguments alone for the night
HMMMM… what do you really think it will be like when you get home?

Situation 2:
You say you are going out with the guys and you come back drunk, you pretty much know what will happen when you get home, especially if it’s the weekend and that means you won’t be worth a damn the next morning leaving her alone to run interference while she’s exhausted and moody.

Situation 3:
You decide that during her 2 wk time it would be a great time to discuss everything she has done to hurt you over the years because of PMDD. You decide to discuss PMDD and have decided that she has IT. Actually, you decide to discuss anything that requires her to take a closer look at herself.

Just wait! Save yourself, Trust Me.

Situation 4:
Planning engagements that she will have to host, plan, clean up after, etc…
I understand some plans have certain dates that are MUSTS, but you don’t have to decide to invite your boss over for dinner during her 2 wk time when she feels as though the house needs to be top-notch, the food perfect and she needs to look and behave her best.

During our 2 wk time it doesn’t matter what we put on, we hate it and we hate how it looks and feels on us. So, unless your boss is the boss of a junkyard and doesn’t mind her being in sweats, food ordered in and the house a bit untidy…give her a break and plan accordingly. Ask her the best date first.

I know this can sound like a hassle, but really most of it is just part of growing up. I don’t know the ages of everyone reading here, and if you are younger it’s going to take more work because some of these situations may arise more often.

Just be courteous to one another.

Stay tuned for fun things to do together to make it work, even when things get tough.

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