Acquiring a chronic health condition isn’t easy. With it comes loss and with loss, the process of grieving. Stages of grief may be:

Disbelief (shock that the loss has occurred)

Denial (refusing to accept the loss)

Bargaining (making deals with deity, doctors, etc. )

Guilt (If I had done ______ maybe this never would have happened to me.)

Anger (towards the loss, illness, deity, etc.)

Depression (may run throughout the entire process until the loss is accepted)

Acceptance and Hope (Life has changed but it will continue and be meaningful. Acceptance doesn’t  mean you have to like your illness, but it can mean learning to manage it and be  with it as you continue on with your life.)

Today, try:

Taking a moment to ask yourself if you are in a specific phase of grieving related to PMDD or another chronic health condition.

Recognize that some of what you’re feeling may be related to loss and the process of mourning.

Ask yourself what you would do if a loved one were in a similar stage. If someone lost a loved one, you would (hopefully) not tell them to simply get over it and move on. Your heart would open to them. You would reach out to them with compassion. You would allow them the time it can take to move through the stages of grief. Try doing the same for yourself or asking someone else for support.

Honor your loss. Take time to recognize that you are experiencing a significant change.

Remember that you may find yourself moving forward, back, and forward again. For example, when I chose to have a total hysterectomy BSO, I spent some time with PMDD in the disbelief and anger stages even though I’d already been there before. The loss of the ability to have children and the potential health risks of having the surgery at the age of 36 left me feeling incredibly angry towards PMDD and the medical community. For a little while, I could not believe that I had come to the point of surgery with PMDD.

By simply taking the time to consider these stages, you may find that it helps you to soften in your expectations for yourself and possibly, to move forward. Remember that the time it takes you to move through the stages of grief is unique to you. That said, I can offer from my own experiences with chronic health issues that movement takes time (sometimes more time than you might prefer) but it  is possible.

* I am a PMDD Advocate and CRC offering supportive services for women with PMDD and their spouses/partners. Please contact me with questions about services or to schedule a free, initial 20 minute consultation. You can also visit me here.