Originally posted months ago at the NAPS forum…

Recovery is not a piece of cake and I have really needed support, physically and mentally. If any of you are planning to have surgery (or thinking about it) – I know some of you are having surgery soon or are considering it – here is my advice:

1) Visit hystersisters.com. This has been a lifesaver. There is pre-op support & post-op support & tons of info to help you make informed decisions about this surgery and to help you know if something is normal or not normal after. They group members who are having surgery around the same time. This has been great for me – I get to see how other people are doing and don’t feel so alone. And it’s free.

2) Even if you are finished having children or think you don’t want children (I have one child and decided that a hysterectomy was the best option for me and my family), you might find yourself grieving for the loss of choice after surgery. I certainly am. I still think it was the right decision, but the mourning process is there. Once I’d made the choice and scheduled the opertation, I began dealing with these feelings before surgery and have been dealing with them after. You might also mourn body parts, have issues with identity, wonder about your body after among other things… all normal, and all experienced by women all around the world. Again, the web site I mentioned has helped me with these things.

3) Prepare your home for your after surgery needs. Have a table beside your bed so you have the things you want within easy reach. If you worry about what needs to be done (bills, work related issues) like I do, I found that just putting all of the stuff I needed to remember to look at after surgery in a pile near my bed helped ease my mind. Educate your partner or the people who are going to be helping you after, including children. Get your doctor to back you up if needed. You know how to do this if you have PMDD, right? Educating people about what you will need after surgery is SO much easier! Have clean sheets, blankets, and pillow cases ready to go. Put your clothes and under things in easy to reach spots. Have a pile of the most comfy clothes ready.. You won’t want to bend!

4) What you will most likely not be doing for two weeks (depending on your surgery type & your body): Cooking, major cleaning or even much light cleaning, driving, going out, taking care of small children beyond what you can manage verbally. You will most likely be very tired and taking strong pain meds during week one. You will most likely be feeling much better but still crappy during week two (I took strong pain meds through week two). You will most likely be worn out by taking a shower. This is all normal, all temporary, and all worth being free of PMDD (and in my case endo). Again, you’ve dealt with PMDD. You can do this.

5) Let people know what you need in regard to support before surgery. I have found that some of the people who love me most don’t call or email when I am ill. They think I’m too tired, too sick, or just feel awkward around illness. Before surgery, I sent an email out to my friends and family and I gave instructions. Email, write, call (wait to call until a few days after I’m out of the hospital – talking on the phone during week one made me tired too :-). Visits from my mom, who helped my family for the first week and my dad, who helped for a couple of days during week two were asked for and very much welcomed. Some people still needed reminders after, but I have had much more support because I just decided to be honest. When I’m still feeling lonely, I go to the hystersisters site.

6) Small children can be enormous helpers when it comes to doing all of the bending and lifting you can’t do. My son has needed to be a helper. It’s made him feel needed and more a part of the process. He’s seven.

7) Some of you will have less than helpful family members. You will need to vent. Hystersisters has members in the same situation.

Am I glad I did this at this point? I think so. I also think I won’t be able to answer that with a big YES until more time passes. I did just have major surgery & that doesn’t make me feel so great :-) For me, there were no more options. This looked like my best shot. I’d done everything I could and had come to a point where life just felt too short not to. I still feel that way. It’s a very personal choice. I am happy to offer any support I can if you are trying to make it or do decide to have surgery.

xo

Jennifer

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Today, at almost 5 months post op I can say YES! I am so glad I chose to have the surgery. I really am.